Cell Phones Rule the World!

	They are cool. They tell us what to do. Mine tells me what to eat, who to talk to, and who to vote for. It is my friend. It is my god. All hail Motorola, god of all!
See this guy to my right? He is communing with his god, Samsung. What a fool is he! His god is a false god. He will burn in the hades of silicon blasphemers, text-message corrective type, useless videos of his cat being what he calls cute, his reminders to himself to do nice things for his girlfriend, his alarms to wake up for the end of class, and runon sentences!

I kind of got carried away, there. Sorry about that. OK, cellphone communications has had a number of social impacts.

Oh, you want me to say what they are? OK

• Ubiquitous communication -- I can quite literally reach out and contact something like 80 percent of the people in the world.
• Texting led to tweeting. Tweeting led to following. Following led to retweeting. Retweeting led to something else. The old-school media now reports tweeting as if it was actually news. I mean, who cares what Rosanne Barr thinks about, well, anything? Do I care if you care, and inflict her 128-character opinions on me? Well, I don't care, see? We need a new kind of tweet, the for-god's-sake-get-a-life tweet-response. I mean, seriously.
• PDA-abilities lets me use my phone as my god. It can tell me what to do all day! Hmm... I seem to have gotten off track again, haven't I?
• Angry Birds are the greatest thing in the universe!
• I can't read my phone's display. I need to get a bigger phone. I will have to use my ipad as my phone.
• Can I get a cell phone with a dial?