Path: igor.rutgers.edu!newsserver.jvnc.net!netnews.upenn.edu!news.cc.swarthmore.edu!psuvax1!news.pop.psu.edu!news.cac.psu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!news.cais.com!cais3.cais.com!jdfalk From: "J.D. Falk" Newsgroups: alt.make.money.fast,alt.current-events.net-abuse,free.lunch.no-such-thing Subject: Culture Time: <> MAKE FLAMES FAST! <> Followup-To: poster Date: Sun, 26 Mar 1995 11:43:28 -0500 Organization: Schroedinger's Cats Lines: 100 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: cais3.cais.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Summary: Parody of the MAKE.MONEY.FAST postings To: Culture Time! mailing list X-Home-URL: http://www.cais.com/jdfalk/home.html Precedence: junk Answer: 42 X-Comment: To subscribe to the Culture Time! mailing list (which contains humorous messages, often about 'net culture, no more than once per day), just EMail and ask! __ ____ __ __ ____ ____ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ __ __ ___ ___ / / / / / / / /_/ /_ / / /|/| /_ /_ /_/ /_ / /_/ / \ /_ / __/_ / | /_ To whom it may concern: This is going to sound like a con, but in fact IT WORKS! Five FLAMES is a small investment in your future. Forget yer fucking flame-wars and give THIS a try. It can work for ALL of us. You can edit this list with a word processor or text editor and then convert to a text file. Good Luck!! "Only those people who risk going too far, ever find out how far they can go" INSTRUCTIONS Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will have received over 50,000 FLAMES! *Guaranteed* [1] Immediately flame the first 5 names listed below, starting at number 1 through number 5. SEND PROFANITY ONLY. Enclose a note with each letter stating: "Please add my name to your flaming list". Include your name and mailing address. (This is a legitimate service that you are requesting and you are flaming for this service.) [2] Remove the name that appears as number 1 on the list. Move the other 9 names up one position (Number 2 becomes number 1, number 3 becomes number 2, and so on). Place your name, address, and zip code in the number 10 position. [3] With your name in the number 10 position, upload this ENTIRE file to 15 (Fifteen) different bulletin boards. You may post it to the BBS's message base or to the file section. Name it CONFIG.SYS and use the file description comments to draw attention to this file and its great potential for all of us. [4] Within 60 days you will receive over 50,000 FLAMES! Keep a copy of this file for yourself so that you can use it again and again whenever you need flames. As soon as you mail out these letters you are automatically in the mail order business. People will be sending YOU flames to be placed on your mailing list. This list can then be rented to any fuckwad that can be found in your local yellow pages listings for additional flames on a regular basis. The list will become more valuable as it grows in size. This is a service. ** IT IS PERFECTLY LEGAL ** If you have any doubts as to the legality of this service, please refer to John 3:16. NOTE: Make sure that you retain EVERY name and address sent to you, either on computer or hard copy, but do not discard the names and notes that people send to you. This is PROOF that you are truly providing a service, and should the N.S.A. or some other government agency question you, you can provide them with this proof! Remember, as each post is downloaded and the instructions carefully followed, five members will be flames for thier participation as List Developer with one flame each. Your name will move up the list geometrically so that when your name reaches the number 5 position you will be receiving thousands of flames. REMEMBER - THIS PROGRAM FAILS ONLY IF YOU ARE NOT HONEST - PLEASE!! PLEASE BE HONORABLE...IT DOES WORK! THANK YOU. 1. Corine Yonkers 5401 Avenue F Austin, TX 78751 2. Erik Price P.O. Box 203443 Jollyville TX 78720-3443 3. Marty LaJoy 2355 Murray Hill Rd. #440D Cleveland, OH 44106 4. Jose Jimanez 2355 Murray Hill Rd. #440H Cleveland, Oh 44106 5. Charles Cross 502 OShaugnessy Hall Virginia Tech Blacksburg, VA 24060-0012 6. Allen DeFranco 9636 Orangewood Dr. Thornton, CO 80221 7. David Deere # 5, 4412 Manilla Road S.E. Calgary, Alberta, Canada T2G 4B7 8. Sam Dousz P.O. Box 507, Sacramento, CA 95812 9. Jared Nishikawa Sunset Village 330 De Neve Dr. Los Angeles, CA 90024-1387 10. Ben Culbertson PO BOX 1105 Peoria IL 61653-1105 The following letter was written by a participating member in this program: I used to couldn't git flamed to save my fucked up soul. Now I git momre fucking flames than a fuckwad like me could ever know what to do with. Every internet service provider I've ever had has had to drop me because I'm too fucking popular for their pissass equipment. Even AT&T couldn't handle me, so I had to go to a special place for "protective custody". When I git outa here, I'm gonna go to work for Canter and Siegel because they have the teknolugy to keep my flame-chain alive. --------------- To subscribe to the Culture Time! mailing list, EMail