De Morgan's Law and Order: CS205 (by Michael Littman, Fall 2004) Episode: "Incomplete" Characters Scarlet Night: University Student Lennie Briscoe: wise-cracking detective Ed Green: detective, Briscoe's partner Lyle Mittman: University professor Roy Sambody: teaching assistant Quincy Adams: Forensic examiner Buck Starr: cafe owner Jack McCoy: Executive ADA Abbie Carmichael: ADA Chase Doctoroff: Defendents' Lawyer Steven Wonder: Judge SCENE: Night is in her dorm room and opens her transcript from the previous semester. Night: What? An incomplete? Why that backstabbing professor! I'll get him for this. SCENE: Precinct. Night is talking to detectives Briscoe and Green. She's holding her transcript. Green: Lemme get this straight. You took this introductory computer science class, and the professor didn't give you a grade? Night: He gave me an incomplete. I don't know what to do. Without credit for this class, there's no way for me to graduate. (Looking down) I was going to start a job in California. Green: He's not allowed to withhold a grade without cause. Briscoe (shrugs): Sounds like someone's gonna get in trouble for not making the grade. (Cue theme song.) SCENE: A classroom. Mittman is confronted by Briscoe and Green. He's looking at a copy of the transcript. Mittman: Yes, Ms. Night was in my class. Briscoe: So, I guess you decided it was just too much work to give her a grade. Mittman: No, no, it's not like that at all. I can't give a grade unless the student takes the final. Ask my TA, he's tell you the same thing. Briscoe: So, you're saying it's her own fault? Mittman (shrugs): Some students don't make much of an effort. Briscoe (to Green): I'm startin' to wonder if Scarlet might not be such a good Night after all. SCENE: Interrogation room. Carmichael is talking with Night and her lawyer, Doctoroff. Carmichael (to Doctoroff): We've got your client caught in a lie. She accused her professor of not giving her a grade and she didn't even bother to show up for the final. She's going down for fraud. Night (somewhat shrilly): But... I'm innocent! *I'm* the victim here! Doctoroff (calms his client, then, to Carmichael): You've got nothing. What's your proof? Carmichael: Only students who take the final get a grade. Ms. Night didn't get a grade. Therefore, she didn't take the final. It's modus tollens, plain and simple. Doctoroff (handing Carmichael a blue slip of paper): I've filed a motion to dismiss your charges. Carmichael: On what grounds? Doctoroff: The fallacy of denying the hypothesis. (To Night) Let's go, they've got no case. (Cue gavel sound.) SCENE: Crime lab office, Adams is talking to Briscoe and Green. Green: We need some other way to prove that Night didn't take the final. Adams (pointing at a computer monitor): Well, I was taking a look at the transcript you gave me and I noticed this. Green (skeptical): A coffee stain. Briscoe: Well, you know how computer scientists like their java. Adams (ignoring Briscoe's comment): Looking at the density of chemicals in the stain, the caffeine level is two standard deviations above normal. You don't see levels of caffeine like this in your average student. Green: Meaning? Adams: A student who drinks that kind of coffee wouldn't be able to take the final without drinking it. In fact, she needs coffee every day. (All three exchange looks.) Briscoe (to Green): Feel like grabbing a cup of Joe? SCENE: A college avenue, Briscoe and Green are talking to Buck Starr, owner of Wake Me Up Cafe. They show him a photo of Night. Starr: Yeah, I seen her. She comes here almost every morning. Double latte, extra napkins. Briscoe: Any reason you don't see her every day? Starr: Well, there's been construction on Elm Street da last few months. When da street is closed, she don't come by here. Green: Are there any other cafes nearby? Starr: Sure, there's also the Daily Gulp over on Main St. Nothin' else for miles, though. Green (to Briscoe): She can only get coffee at the Daily Gulp or Wake Me Up Coffee. Briscoe: But, she can't come to Wake Me Up when Elm St. is closed. (Cue gavel sound.) SCENE: DA's office. Green and Briscoe are talking to McCoy and Carmichael. Green: We checked the transportation department records and Elm St. was closed the day of the final. Briscoe: And the owner of the Daily Gulp says they were shut down that day for routine grinder maintenance. McCoy: Sounds to me like we have enough to put Ms. Night on the stand. We can prove she didn't take the final. (Cue gavel sound.) SCENE: Court room. Night is on the stand. McCoy is grilling her. McCoy: Is it true that you need to drink coffee every day to function, or, say, take a final? Doctoroff: Objection, your honor, demeaning the witness. Wonder: Overruled. (To Night) Answer the question please. Night (quietly): Yes. McCoy: On the day of the final, you couldn't get your fix from the only coffee places in town. So, you decided to stay home and blame your professor for the incomplete he gave you. Night (loudly): No! I took the final that day. I would never miss the final. McCoy (skeptically): How is that possible? Our psychologist examined you and there's no way you could take a test without your caffeine. Night: I... I... I made my own coffee that day. (Gasp from the courtroom.) McCoy (flustered): Your honor, I'd like to request a short recess. Wonder: Granted. Court will resume in one hour. (Cue gavel sound.) SCENE: Graduate student housing. Briscoe and Green are knocking on the door of the apartment of Roy Sambody. Briscoe: Looks like Night's story checked out. She took the final. I also talked to Prof. Mittman, and he told us that he assigns grades to all the students that the TA tells him took the final. Green: Let's see what the TA has to say about all this. (Knocking, calling through door): Mr. Sambody? This is the NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a class that you TA'd last semester. Briscoe (pointing at the fire escape): He's making a run for it! (Green chases Sambody, knocking him to the ground. Green picks him up and cuffs him.) Briscoe: Where do you think you're going? Sambody: What do you want with me? Green: We were just going to ask you a few questions, that's all. Briscoe: There was a student in your class, a Scarlet Night. You remember her? Sambody: I had a lot of students. It's hard to keep them straight. Green: The class only had 10 students. Sambody: Oh, *that* Scarlet Night. Yeah, what about her? Green: It seems she never got a grade in the class. Sambody: So? Briscoe: So, she told us she took the final. Sambody: Well, she's lying. Green: We don't think so. We've got witnesses put her in the exam room and handing you the completed test. What do you say to that? Sambody: I... Briscoe: Yeah? Sambody (quietly): I didn't want her to graduate. Green: What do you mean? You better tell us what's going on before you get yourself any deeper in trouble. Sambody (reluctantly): She competes on the college chess team that I coach. She's the best player we've got. Next year's team has a chance to win the state championship, but not if she leaves for California. If I turned in her final, she'd pass the class and start her job in California. I *couldn't* turn in her grade. I just couldn't. Haven't you ever heard of Modus ponens? Green (eyebrows raised): Whatever you say. But, we're going down to the station. Briscoe: He tried to sacrifice his queen, but it cost him the whole game. The end.